Completely off the investing subject, but this forward was too funny not to share:

For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress. ___________________________ _____ MONDAY: Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess. Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit- ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week! ________________________________ TUESDAY: I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It’s a whole new life for me. _______________________________ WEDNESDAY: The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too. ______________________________ THURSDAY: Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn’t help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny bitch to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine — which I sank. _______________________________ FRIDAY: I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don’t have any triceps! And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director? ________________________________ SATURDAY: ; Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel. ________________________________ SUNDAY: I’m having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little shit) will choose a gift for me that is fun – like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over , he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

p.s. I can't remember who forwarded this to me, or I would give them credit!

The Top Choices

Okay, so I think my top choices to start are 7-Day Instant Cash Secrets, Ultimate Buying and Selling Machine, The Short Sales Riches System and Virtual Wholesaling. These all seem to be soup to nuts programs. Let's see if they work.

I've gone to the courthouse to try to get probate and in my counties, the clerks are definitely locked gates... I'll walk that path when I pick some of the lower hanging fruit (information that's easier to get to). Meanwhile, I'll continue to collect the Notices to Creditors that I can find and go with those.

I've decided against Alexis McGee's program because it's too much like stalking. Call the friends, call the neighbors, call the family before you talk to the person in pre-foreclosure. Oh, and by the way, here's how you find all that information. It might work, but it creeps me out. I'm more into actually trying to contact the person in trouble before trying to contact everyone else in his or her world.

Testing the Gurus

So, I've been buying creative real estate investing programs and reading books for about 4 years. I've listened to CDs, watched DVDs, read manuals and reviewed web sites. However, I've not done a darn thing beyond that. I've been the classic analysis paralysis person. All that is about to change.

Here is a list of the "gurus" and their programs that I have, split by type:

Tim Mai, Virtual Vesting 7-Day Instant Cash Secrets
Chris Chico, Virtual Wholesaling
Steve Cook, Wholesaling for Quick Cash
Mike Collins, Wholesaling Houses for a Living
Larry Goins, Ultimate Buying and Selling Machine
Ron Mead, Make a Flippin' Fortune

Toby Unwin, One Deal From Retirement
Dave Lindahl, Apartment House Riches

Alexis McGee, 6 Steps to Mastering Foreclosures
Dwan Bent-Twyford, Foreclosure Fortunes in Your Backyard
William Bronchick, Colorado Foreclosure Investing Strategies

Chris McLaughlin & Nathan Jurewicz, Short Sales Riches System
Dwan Bent-Twyford, Advanced Short Sales
Dwan Bent-Twyford, Short Sale Secrets

Chuck Smith, Powerful Profits with Probate
Jim Banks, Probate Profits
Ron Mead, 31 Days to Profits in Probate Real Estate

Bill Twyford, Shut Up and Stick to the Script
Bill Twyford, The Secrets of Closing the Deal
William Bronchick, Real Estate Negotiating

Dolf De Roos, Real Estate Investors College
William Bronchick, Real Estate Success Library

And these are the books that I've read that pertain directly to real estate:

The Weekend Millionaire's Secrets to Investing in Real Estate, Mike Summey and Roger Dawson
Push Button Investing in Real Estate, Ron Draluck
Making Hard Cash in a Soft Real Estate Market, Wendy Patton and Justin Ryan
Buying and Managing Residential Real Estate, Andrew J. McLean
Investing in Real Estate, Andrew McLean and Gary Eldred, PhD
Making Big Money Investing in Real Estate, Peter Conti and David Finkel

Emerging Real Estate Markets, Dave Lindahl
Multi-Family Millions, Dave Lindahl (I'm reading this one right now)
How to Make Money in Commercial Real Estate for the Small Investor, Nicholas Masters
Make Millions by Buying Small Apartment Properties in Your Spare Time, Brian K. Friedman
The Best Damn Commercial Real Estate Investing Book Ever Written, Monica Villasenor
The Complete Guide to Buying and Selling Apartment Buildings, Steve Berges
Flipping Properties, William Bronchick
The ForeclosureS.com Guide to Making Huge Profits Investing in Pre-foreclosures without Selling your Soul, Alexis McGee
Preston Ely, Probates ebook
Preston Ely, Flip Your Way to Financial Freedom ebook

How to Get All the Money You Need to Buy Property, Alan Cowgill
Financing Secrets of a Millionaire Real Estate Investor, William Bronchick

The Millionaire Real Estate Investor, Gary Keller
The Millionaire Real Estate Agent, Gary Keller
Nothing Down for the 2000s, Robert G. Allen
Real Estate Riches, Dolf de Roos
How to Build a Real Estate Empire, Arsenault, Hamilton, Leeds & Marcil
Wealth Protection Secrets of a Millionaire Real Estate Investor, William Bronchick
Trump Strategies for Real Estate, Donald Ross
The Art of the Deal, Donald Trump

And, believe it or not, I have a pile of books waiting to be read about real estate investing.

The fact is that having all that in my head is very nice, but it ain't where the rubber hits the road. Right now, they are all theory to me. While I think that some sound more doable than others, it's just a guess and frankly, I'm a little nervous about getting out there and talking to someone about something that's so important to their life. What if I screw it up? Then again, what if I don't?

Is it possible to juggle several balls and have some of these systems running concurrently by setting up different businesses? Maybe I should just see if they work first.

Right now, short sale programs are coming out of the woodwork - seems to be the flavor of the month with the vast financial crisis we're facing in America today. Would that be the best place to start? Or maybe Tim Mai's program that promises cash in 7 days... all the possibilities make my head spin.

Anyway, my youngest is almost old enough to go to preschool so I thought I would try out these programs, step-by-step, one at a time. There are so many that I'm having a hard time deciding which to pick. Do I do wholesaling, foreclosures, short sales, probates? Some of these could be chunked together, but I want to test each system to see if it really does work like the author says it does. So, next post, the decision...